John Maine is very close to being in this space for being a “habitual liar,” and for struggling to accept the fact that he was put on the disabled list like a total baby, but Oliver f*$^ing Perez is a total waste of a roster spot right now. He did pitch in the last week, so I guess I should technically give some numbers. He pitched .2 innings, and gave up no hits and 2 walks. .2 innings does not a sample make obviously, but his refusal to go to the minor leagues after being a completely ineffective starter is incredibly selfish. This is even more offensive when, as you sit in your cubicle or office this Monday morning, you picture Ollie f&$*ing Perez waking up and remembering that he’s a millionaire. He’s got a 5.94 ERA as a starter, with 28 walks in 33.1 innings. And he’s making $12 million this year. What are you making again? I know what I’m making, and it’s not $12 million. The guy’s a sunk cost already, and it’s even worse that he wouldn’t just be a team player and go to Buffalo to straighten himself out. What a tool.

Oliver f&$*ing Perez is my Dog-House Resident of the Week.